And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
