don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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