Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
