Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
