Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Randomize
