I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
