3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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