I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
