i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
