I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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