Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
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