im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
