Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
