Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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