when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
