okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
It's official drugs can't kill me
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
