well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
