butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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