It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
