people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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