Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
