we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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