You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
