ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
