I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We have started to decorate penises.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize