with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
