I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
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