I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize