Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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