people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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