I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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