but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
