So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
where does the pee come out of this thing
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize