Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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