Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
