Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
My ass is underappreciated
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
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