Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
