It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
