My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
