Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Dicks are not precious.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize