Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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