I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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