this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Did you pee in the oven last night??
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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