fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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