Christians are straight up FREAKS
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
