Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
