i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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