Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
