i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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