I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
