Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
