I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
