ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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