I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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