the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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